“The Lady in the Water”

This summer promised many great films. One I have been waiting for since last year; “The Lady in the Water” by M. Night Shaymalan. It’s supposed to be a scary movie about an alternate world that crosses over with ours.

Too bad it sucked. It’s was the most poorly strung-together piece of crap that has ever been called a movie. It gave new meaning to the word “cheese.” I suppose that’s what happens when you let your kids help you write a movie. Kids are idiots! They don’t know how to construct believable plotlines, relatable characters, or intriguing premises. All they know how to do is glue together some half-baked mythology and retarded creatures and give them names like “Narf,” and “Scrunt” (actual names of creatures in film). The story ends up being about a “water nymph” who has to return to the “blue world” on the back of a magic eagle, and a group of tenants at a condominium are the chosen “guild” who need to defend her from the evil dogs trying to thwart her… that is, until the evil monkeys come and kill the evil dogs. Think I’m joking? Go see it. I garuantee you will be pissed, no matter how much you may like Shaymalan’s past work. Just add it to the roster of  summer blockbusters that have ended up being highly disappointing.