To whom it may concern, I submit a list of annoyances that I regularly encounter in everyday life. In this entry, I will describe those annoyances and give thorough explanation as to why I find them so aggravating.
1) Ingrateful Automobile Passengers
Perhaps the biggest of my peeves is ingratitude I encounter from the people who end up riding in my car. For those of you who do not have to deal with the enormous financial burden of owning a motor-vehicle, allow me to to explain:
Monthly Insurance Fee: $148.00
Monthly Gasoline Total: $180.00
Monthly Loan Interest Payment: $25.00
Oil Changes: $48.00
Air Care Tests: $46.00
No Measly “Thank You” When I Drop You Off: Priceless
I’m not saying my passengers should help split the bill. In fact, I would never ask my passengers for a penny. All I ask is for a little common courtesy. A simple “Thank you for the ride” would suffice. Contrarily, the absolute worst thing you can do is make your driver WAIT outside your house while you get ready. In my books, this is one of the most flagrant displays of ingratitude I’ve ever experienced. And the worst part is, it happens all the time! It’s usually people who don’t drive, and therefore don’t realize what an insult it is.
If you know that your driver is coming to pick you up for a free ride, it’s your civil duty to make sure that you are waiting by the door with your shoes already on. By doing this, you at least show your driver that you appreciate the fact that you are being provided with free transportation, despite the unreasonable costs that he ultimately faces providing you with it. Simply put, making your driver wait adds insult to injury.
Exception: if you make your driver wait, but have an explanation beginning with “Sorry to make you wait…” then it’s totally fine. It’s not the waiting that hurts, it’s the lack of recognition that you are inconveniencing someone – that is what speaks so much to your lack of character.
Having said that, I’m not one to lecture my friends about it, because lecturing someone about being polite is pointless. Respect for your friends must come from within. I recognize that, being a motorist, I will probably always have to put up with this. But let it be known that I consider it a huge display of character when somebody is ready, and I consider it to be a blatant show of disrespect when somebody is not.
I have a big problem with the idea that compulsory tipping in restaurants should be the status quo. To my mind, you tip someone because they go above and beyond in their field of service, and you feel the need to recognize it. All too often I find myself leaving tips because of social pressure to do so. Usually when I leave a tip, I leave the restaurant feeling like I’ve been robbed. The food is already overpriced, and the only thing my waitress served me a glass of water, a hamburger, a fake smile and a bill.
I’ve heard the counterargument a million times: servers merit tips because they are serving you. This is retarded. We are to believe that, somehow, this is the crucial variable that separates servers from the rest of us? Last time I checked, there was something called a “service industry,” and it included grocery store clerks, toll-booth operators, electrical technicians, piano-tuners, projectionists, and automotive repairmen. Are these people somehow not serving me? Are they not deserving a tip?
Of course, the answer is obvious: if someone who serves you makes a special effort to improve their service, then they warrant being tipped. If, on the other hand, they provide you with the standard level of service, then their wage should damn well suffice.
I’ve also heard the argument that food servers somehow need tip money in order to survive. Interestingly enough, one constantly hears the very same people boast about “how good the tips are” and how they can make “hundreds of dollars in a night.” This, my dear readers, seems to me like an obvious inequity, and requires swift rectification. I know you servers love to prattle on about how much more challenging/stressful your jobs are, but the reality is that serving food is equally as unskilled as any other minimum wage job, and that is precisely why you make minimum wage.
It’s a well known fact that short skirts and flirtatious body language tend to enhance tip income. Thus, one wonders what kind of ‘service’ tipping ultimately facilitates.
3) The Stigma Against Dating Young Girls
I hear it all the time: girls in my age category scolding their guy friends because they are dating girls who are 5 ot 6 years younger. They call it “gross” and imply that he must somehow be “desperate.”
Shut up, girls.
The very same girls in my age group also tend to date guys who are 5 to 6 years older. Essentially, girls are admonishing guys for doing the very thing that their older boyfriends are doing: dating stupid younger girls! What a goddam paradox!
It’s perfectly normal for people, out of highschool, to date people on the periphery of their age group. As it just so happens, it seems natural for men to be older than their partners. Thus, it makes sense that, since the girls are looking up the age ladder, guys must look down. Enough with the judgement!
Actually, this brings me to my final peeve:
I’d always heard that women marry for money, but I am only now, at age 23, beginning to see what a profoundly truthful statement that is.
Now, at that crucial age where careers are dealt and friends are more readily subject to class distinction, I have noticed that the girls in my age group have mysteriously tended to date older men with steady careers and more money. Was I a fool to think that love and romance could transcend social class and petty materialism? The answer is yes.
The hilarious thing is that every girl that is reading this right now is shaking her head and saying “Not me. I’m going to marry for love.”
In many ways, I suppose it’s only natural. Money, as a natural coder for social status, inevitably must be factored in as another step in the complex dance of human courtship. That is not my peeve. My peeve is simply this:
Girls: stop denying it.
I hope everybody enjoyed my list of things that make me angry. Ironically, this list will probably make a lot of other people angry. But I stand by it. Death Cab Rules!